You Did Not Win

by AllSquare

(read to the end for a conscience and nonsense comic)

You Did Not Win

You know who you are.

You hate. You despise. Your anger burns inside you and never lets you have peace.

The problem is other people.

[Who does the author think he is here??? What right does he have to accuse you of all the garbage that is wrong with him that goes on in his head?]

They are all so dumb. And you just wish that you could make them get out of your way.

Stupid people live in front of you. They are always in your way. And they get tons and tons of undeserved sympathy. Weak-minded people are always demanding more resources and more money for lazy idiots who won’t grow up and get a job.

[Like the author? The writer of this article won’t grow up and get a job. How many dishonest psychiatrists had to make up nonsense out of whole cloth so that our hero could get his disability check?]

And you voted. You voted to wipe them all away like a greasy stain off a nice, white wall.

You voted to force them to get out of your country.

[Can’t force the writer of this article to use those ditch-digging skills or those grocery-bagging skills to get another entry-level position over thirty years after joining the work-force. Oh, no. Not that. He can’t snag a basic starter job just to get his feet wet again all these years later as part of his effort to “reinvent himself.” Now that becoming fluent in Spanish didn’t win him the lottery and impresses exactly zero people.]

If only you could make all of the people who mess up this great land just go away and let the good, honest people have it. Then God would be happy. All the rodents could go to hell and God would get His way. No more handouts for lazy addicts. No more welfare for wrong-minded people. He who does not work, should not eat.

Right?

[Gee, I don’t know, Slow Learner. You seemed to chow down pretty efficiently on those novelty cookies you bought on Social Security’s dime and then on the ham and biscuits your sister brought over. Plenty of frowning at the spare tire in the mirror left for you, bud. Looking forward to a fat future full of fast food and fearless noshing!]

Just make them get out of your way.

Because you have important work to do. Gotta work hard. Gotta play hard. No time for losers.

It would be great if you could just put a big, steel shovel on the front of your truck so you could just shovel them all out of the way. Right into a ditch that would just be so deep that they could never climb out and get in your way again.

Because that was Jesus’ real message, wasn’t it?

Make your neighbor go away.

Where are you going with that fully automatic machine, honey?

I’m going to make my neighbor go away.

[You made all your neighbors go away, Slow Learner. You moved. You keep moving. You’re like a duck in a shooting gallery. Stability is too good for you, ain’t it bro?]

But you didn’t really win.

Because millions, MILLIONS of people have taken to the streets. And they don’t look like you and they don’t think like you. But some of them do look so much like they could be from your family, that it’s actually kind of weird how many millions and millions of stupid people there really are, isn’t it?

[Hey, guy. If you are dumb enough to be 2 stupid people, do you have to count yourself twice in the “Stupid Census.”?]

It’s almost like people actually want a free country where they can be themselves. Even if you hate what they stand for.

It’s almost like hate can’t win.

[No. Hate can’t win. Only self-hatred can win.]

“But I don’t hate anybody.”

No. Of course not.

You just want to make them go away and never come back and you don’t care what happens to them in the process.

Whenever we catch ourselves burning in anger at someone and wanting them to go into some sort of trash can like a disgusting meal we just cannot force ourselves to eat, we need to STOP.

[Dude. You need to stop. You have more hate in your little finger than teenagers have sauce packets from taco places floating around in their cars.]

We need to understand that we are called to something higher than that.

We need to understand that fireworks on Independence Day are supposed to be a celebration of wars we don’t have to fight anymore.

Please stop fighting. But before you stop fighting, you have to stop hating. And that means you have to start loving.

But before you can love your neighbor, you have to understand.

Maybe your daddy told you once or more times.

There are some things in life you just have to understand.

[Everybody does not have a Dad, guy. Who are you writing for? Consider your audience. You know? The stuffed animals in your mind?]

We were not put on this Earth to make each other go away.

We were put here to build houses, churches and barns.

And lend our neighbor a hand.

It’s not too late to resist hate.

It begins in the heart.

Meditate on someone you think the world of.

[Like the girls in those magazines your mom threw out.]

And then just try to be a little gentler when it comes to people you don’t understand who make you uncomfortable.

They can be wrong, can’t they?

Wrong about a lot of things. Maybe even quite foolish.

But they are children of God, just like you and me.

They sure do dress up in funny outfits sometimes, don’t they?

[That reminds me. We need to make some decisions about our Halloween costume.]